LOOKS DOWN IN THE GATHERING SHADOW
Written and Recorded by Exhausted Prayer Spring-Summer 2005.
1.) Now Grief 
2.) The Noble Lie
[mp3]
3.) The Meaninglessness and Futility of Existence
4.) Death of Logic
5.) Logic of Death
[mp3]
WHAT COMPLETELY IS NOT
Recorded & mixed by Exhausted Prayer and Bill Krodel at the Media Kitchen, August-October, 2002.
1.) In the Wake of Emptiness
2.) A Good Walk Spoiled
3.) The Unwavering Bludgeoning of a Mind by the Angst Arising from an Encounter
with the Void
4.) Sobriety Anxiety
[mp3]
5.) Far from April's Sun
INVOLUTIONAL MELANCHOLIA
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Exhausted Prayer, August, 2001.
1.) Outland
2.) Our Minds are Raped by the Powers that Be
3.) The Meaninglessness and Futility of Existence
4.) Never Again
5.) I Will Take your Worthless Life Away
6.) The Swarm
7.) The Realization of False Perceptions
8.) The Unwavering Bludgeoning of a Mind by the Angst Arising from an Encounter
with the Void
9.) Contempt
extra: The Dark Crusade
The vast ships
I watch them
My gaze transfixed
My mind ablaze
Vast ships move swiftly
Over silent seas
Not thinking for one moment
That the vessels would lull me into despair
I derived all the joy that I could
I became numb
The cargo of the ships now grief
I chose a different window
But this view isn't cheap
Cowardice- reduced to rumors shrouded in dust
Providence- pacified treacherous slaughter
Discouraged, hopeless
Defeated, obey the ghost of hollow threat
Wretched, consumed by the stench of deceitful breath
Blistering lungs, burning eyes
Collapse in the raining cancer
An instant too soon, the glaring flash of truth
All for nothing
Pontificated fallacy
Pandemic pietistic disease
Blind to all the will of fear takes hold
Hallucination
In third person
Look inside
Explanation fails
Language bathed in the sin
Of unreason
Never fails to blindfold worthy men
Addicted to what was once thought an opiate
Your dedication and resolve: Christ Stimulant
So you've found something better than speed
But with your addiction
An absence of truth plants the seed
She said, "I want to die,
To know letting go."
And there was no reply
The logic
Absolutely flawless
The logic was flawless and undeniable
The derivation:
Cold yet elegant
Just like the blade against the flesh of your wrist
The inference:
Bold and unexpected
Forcing itself upon you like the asphalt you'll soon kiss
utter devastation, the ravaging of faith
disbelief floods the mind, a collapsing vertigo takes hold
despair reigns all consciousness, darkness overrules
there is no use in understanding what once begot all purpose
now that the confines of judgement have dissolved
betrayed by perception, what has become of truth
never before has sense been so disorienting
drowning in this wake of emptiness
trust not the vestige of reason
all thoughts tainted by fear and confusion
revelation?
the illusion falters, the artifice transparent
the bitter lies have been unveiled
now unleash the perils of reality
wrench free of this debilitation
relinquish dominion of the soul
accept the devastating consequence
of trust and faith in a world of mendacity
seize control from the clutches of sorrow
devoid of manipulative emotion
no more the victim of hope and hollow desire
acquiesce to the all-consuming emptiness
lyrics by Swansong
the beautiful moment when the sun shone
through the leaves of the trees
washed away, washed away
washed away by madness and sorrow
the passing glance of your elegant face
distorted by my dark dreams
there is a wave deep within
an amplitude unknown to the instruments of man
crests of bliss and troughs of utter despair
lyrics by Mike
The Unwavering Bludgeoning of a Mind by the Angst Arising from an Encounter with the Void
(quote from "Troll 2" by Claudio Fragasso, 1992.)
horrible and mocking
the facade removed from all being
an unmistakable horror
a dark dread rises from the depths
vacant eyes
hollow minds
hollow hills
vacant landscapes
the dreams of a god
a chaotic physical universe
fire and water in mesoillusions
the plans of a christian god
all equally meaningless to me
the vernacular generally ascribed
to defining reality
will not suffice for this
the edge of madness looms on the horizon
but this moment is fleeting
now we lie on the edge of a chance to die
staring into the face of despair
lyrics by mike
an overwhelming tendency to dream beyond this bleak plight
sends the naive into a web of bitter anguish
they are destroyed- annihilated
by a brutal deception
broken by the weight of desperation
suffering alone as the virus penetrates the mind
an all corrupting force
still within and tempting
a suicidal last mile
lyrics by BJ, Mike, and Swansong
say goodbye to the warmth and simple pleasures
for april's sun is dying
the seeds we had sown now ripped from the ground
for april's sun is dying
so cold and so alone
as autumn closes in
as nature cycles so shall my life and my love
where will you find solace and shelter
so far from the april sun
lyrics by Mike
Our Minds are Raped by the Powers that Be
cries of pain punctuate the empty skies
no shining light above, meaninglessness reigns below
the blind once led the blind but now no masters remain
hopelessness overwhelms but we shall rise above it all
end the lies
face the pain
free yourself
only empty skies remain
an ancient tool for understanding things we could not comprehend
lies passed down through generations keep the masses dumb and blind
negative connotations pinned to those who go astray
unity in nothingness- we shall rise above it all
lyrics by Mike
The Meaninglessness and Futility of Existence
no dispute among the fallen
the withering minds lie still
awaiting false salvation
while all our dreams are killed
innocence not withstanding
the plague is blind to all
watching with silent eyes
the hands that close upon our throats
the maleficence of our very being
predestines us to self destruction
the decrepit arrogance of this institution-
this tyranny- holds faith no longer
swathed in delusion from birth
longing for deliverance from misconception
forced complacence a ploy to manipulate the weak
this subjugation will reign no further
the maleficence of our very being
has left our hopes reduced to ashes
what is existence, the waste of the soul
glaring blankly as we dig our graves
Life wasting away- longing for deliverance from suffering and pain
Time wasting away- counting the hours as life slowly decays
cleanse your mind of all the filth
that leads unto your bleak demise
stand strong against the ignorance
stand strong against the wretched lies
embrace your creation
this wretched world, a dying wasteland
lyrics by Swansong
blindness...I cannot perceive beauty
the warm rays of the sun
will never again touch my heart
I am dead
through and through
hatred consuming my thoughts
because of you
I once thought to fulfill my soul
the world must receive my kindness
but you don't deserve an ounce of compassion
is not this world so unkind?
I am dead
through and through
pain is all that is real for me
because of you
I have learned more than enough
from worthless human beings
never again shall I rip out my heart
to protect their fucking feelings
lyrics by Mike
I Will Take your Worthless Life Away
the soldiers of christ
bathed in blood
a testament to the hypocrisy
and hatred of fundamentalism
minds so drenched in filth
the situtaion begs for a violent solution
did I say violent- I mean genocidal
I'll take your worthless life away
ripping flesh from rotting bones
laid to waste forever more
lyrics by Mike
written by Anders Bjorler, Jonas Bjorler, Alf Svensson, Adrian Erlandsson and Tomas Lindberg
Copyright Peaceville, 1994.
The Realization of False Perceptions
once died a thousand times
yet reborn every single day
no longer is my slate wiped clean
pain no longer washed away
sweet disdain touches me again
welcomes me back from my delusions
a world where colors distorted my true sight
a world where I was blind
a world where I ate the lies
there is no creature more vile
than a human being
diarrhea flows from all our mouths
and keeps us so unseeing
lyrics by Mike
I have no love left
so I hate
the fire inside which is my passion is gone
I know I shall never be complete
without the touch of another who seeks
to secretly kill me inside
but that is a cold touch I can do without
I attempt to sail the sea of life always heading north
but the cold winds of the south seem to freeze my broken heart
I have given up hope of finding pleasure in my pain
all who attempt to quell misery just do so in vain
I have seen others grovel at the feet
of the age old feminine lure
only to be crushed underneath its weight
and forced into things unpure
no longer shall I follow the path
of the blind man into the spider's web
aman who thinks of not who he is
but what she will next demand
lyrics by Mike